happiness is...

happiness is...
kenya 2010

Saturday, October 8, 2011

dating. i am so over it.


well, it's no secret that i had a bout of loneliness recently (check out "time to be authentic" in my blog archives). i have been so focused on preparing for mission work that i neglected my very basic need for male companionship. i decided to take matters into my own hands and get back into the dating scene. lawrence is a pretty small place- at least once you've lived here for 35ish years- so chances are if you're between the ages of 30 and 50, are male, and are single, i've already dated you... or there is a reason i haven't. haha. okay, okay- it's not that bad, but it is true that most of my friends have already tried to fix me up with the men they think would be a good match (and even some they didn't). that pool ran dry awhile back . with the "set up" possibility being slim to none, i turned to the old standby- online dating.

if you have done the online dating scene, you will understand my pain. if not, words will not do it justice. i have profiles on at least two dating sites, but they have been hidden for over a year. now i remember why. a couple of weeks ago, i went back to one of the sites and browsed my "matches". they use that term loosely. it seems that no matter how many criteria i enter, the matches are no better than my friends who only use the criteria "single" to set me up. as usual, that was true- but there was one that had a really nice profile. well thought-out, well written, witty, interesting. there were a couple of things that potentially ruled us out as each others' dream mate, but i thought i would at least honor his effort with a quick email letting him know that i liked his profile and that it didn't go unappreciated. his reply? "no blondes, please."


on to mr. perfect #2. i didn't even have to email that one to realize he was a jerk. he said so in his profile. well, what he actually said was "no short hair. no woman looks good in it. if you are more than 5'0" and 100 pounds and have short hair, you look like a middle aged man." i, of course, replied with a slightly sarcastic but oh-so-helpful dissertation on why that was ridiculous and shallow and how i can grow my hair, but he will always be a jackass. guess what? suddenly (after looking at the pictures automatically attached to my email) he decided that perhaps i was the exception, and that he liked my sass and my fire. i got the satisfaction of telling him that i wasn't kidding about the jackass thing. next!

third time is a charm. i emailed a guy who seemed attractive and interesting, with similar interests. he evidently thought the same about me, and we traded a half a dozen emails before deciding to meet for a cup of coffee. keep in mind that my profile mentions my faith and my mission work, and my dedication to trying to live out god's will in my life. his mentions what good character he has and how he prides himself on leading a good life, and how he is looking for a quality woman to share it with. the morning we were supposed to meet for coffee, i awoke to a definitely suggestive, completely inappropriate text message with a request for pictures showing more skin than even my doctor has seen. sigh....

being an optimist, i gave it one more try. this guy and i emailed once and moved on to phone conversations after that. i thought maybe i would have better luck getting a feel for who he really was if we talked instead of just emailed. problem is, WE never talked. he talked. we had 3 phone calls that lasted about an hour each. the first one, i talked for maybe 5 minutes, and most of that was talking over him since he never stopped. the second one, i didn't even get in a full 5 minutes. the third, i decided to force a little air-time, but all i got was an hour of him arguing with everything i said. here's the kicker- after that 3rd conversation he had decided that i was a fascinating woman (which may be true, but how could he tell??!?) and that he was in love with me. yes, you heard me. love. oh, and that he needed me. we didn't even meet. double yike.

maybe i'll get another dog...  ;0)


  1. You are actually a pretty fascinating woman. I have been following you for some time. You are compassionate, attractive, dynamic and intelligent. You need a very rare man, and that is why you have not found him just yet. You are not a commodity, you are a person. Quality people are, sadly, rare. But worth waiting for. Don't give up hope.

  2. awwwwww- thanks george! i appreciate the vote of confidence...AND the laugh. i have to say that the "i have been following you for some time" comment was perfectly ambiguous and appropriately "creepy", considering the blog content(of course, i knew exactly what you really meant).thank you for the boost and the smile. both were much needed today :0)

  3. You sounded a wee bit downcast. If I were single I would so want to get to know you. Keep smiling!