happiness is...

happiness is...
kenya 2010

Sunday, July 8, 2012

fat. it's a state of mind...until you step on the scale

ow.


so, i'm tired of being fat. okay, maybe not exactly fat, but fatter than i need or want to be. over the past couple of years i have let my fitness level decline. some of that can be blamed on circumstance- 2010 was largely spent helping care for my dying mother, and 2011 brought with it a much needed, but very limiting, spine surgery. since then, however, i have nothing to blame it on but being lazy and somewhat unmotivated. granted, i have my moments of brilliance, but they have proven to be too few and far between. i am still active and relatively fit, doing things like biking and kayaking- but evidently it isn't enough. i stepped on the scale for the first time in several months, and i am ashamed to say that i am about a pound shy of the panic level. you know, that weight that you absolutely, positively, without a doubt refuse to surpass. whew! just in time...


over the past couple of weeks i have made some big changes in my lifestyle. there is a boy to blame, of course, but that is a different story.  i have started doing my kickboxing again and am working back into yoga. i have signed up on a fitness and diet tracking site called myfitnesspal.com, which allows me to enter my daily food intake and exercise exertion and calculates how many calories i have left in the day based on that info. it takes into account my activity level, age, gender, and how many pounds i want to lose each week (it won't let me pick 25. i tried), and gives me feedback on how i'm doing toward that goal. it is a very tangible measure of my progress when the actual pound loss or body changes come too slowly to motivate me. i am now hooked. i have to be careful...you know how i can be when it comes to balance...but so far so good. while i do obsessively log every single bite (as soon as i get off of here i am going to sign on and enter the 2 raw almonds i snacked on a few minutes ago) and i faithfully include every single bit of activity i do (like dancing to the music at a Third Day concert last night), i still think this will be a healthy and positive life change. perhaps my favorite part is that it tells me when i am either eating too little or exercising too much, and am in danger of going into starvation mode. true, i could probably live a few months on body fat stores alone, but i appreciate the warning anyway. :0)


i am looking forward to pursuing this goal, and all that entails along the way. i am shooting for a definite 15 pounds and a possible total of 20 if i feel that i still have a way to go when i get there. i am also trying to keep in mind things like body fat and muscle mass, since my kickboxing may bulk me up like an american gladiator (yeah, right!). what i am less excited about is the ability to feel every single muscle i have used in each and every workout. they scream at me with every move. walking up the stairs when i get home is a herculean task, and brushing my teeth is tricky because it hurts to hold my arm up for the entire 3 minutes. yike. the upside is that i can feel those screaming muscles turning into solid muscles, and the cushion layer over them is slowly melting away. i am confident that in another couple of weeks, i'll be able to brush my teeth without giving it another thought. in the meantime...


ow.

5 comments:

  1. I've had that app on my iPhone as long as I've had it. It is addicting. Persistence is the key. Entering the info gets old. But don't stop. It works if u keep working with it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love this! I so feel the me vs. weight issue you do. I'm tired of feeling tired, so I'm still jogging, which makes me tired...but it also releives stress. I feel the stress rolling off (along with the sweat!)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Myfitnesspal is excellent. My trainer tells me that weight loss is 80 percent about food, 20 percent about workouts. The workouts HELP, and they speed it up, but we have to simply eat less (a lot less, usually) to lose real weight. Join the LMH weight watcher group! I lost 40 lbs with them! Of course, I'm systematically putting it back on because I'm "eating for two" but we'll worry about that in six months or so. ;) Good luck to you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks, megan! good luck to you and "two", too. lol. no worries- it will come off after the baby. just keep watching those calories. dang calories.

      Delete