i ate a dog snack.
yes, imagine the faces of the 8 other women in the nursing committee meeting as i blurted that out randomly after describing my current resolution/eating experiment. it went something like this:
(them smiling at me and listening intently, SO admiring of my resolve and intentionality)...
ME: "i am trying to eat only foods made from ingredients you can find in rural nepal for 14 days as part of my new year's resolution. it will not only help me get back on a healthy track, but it helps me to be respectful of the fact that there are millions of people all over the world who don't have 700 choices a day regarding what they eat. they have to eat what is available, and many times that is insufficient and very limited. this helps me to step away from my dependence on food as entertainment, and helps me to not take it for granted. i am truly appreciating not only the abundance we have, but every bite of this food that i am eating- regardless of whether or not i WANT to eat it."
one of THEM: "oh that is so wonderful. you have such amazing resolve (me doing little mental pat on the back while she speaks). i couldn't do it. you are such a good person and have such strength! how is it going so far?"
ME: "it has been hard, but i am learning a lot and putting together some interesting combinations with the ingredients i have available (nodding from the others)....(pause)...last night i had a little meltdown and i ate a dog snack."
okay. i can explain. actually, no i can't. there isn't anything to explain. i was putting my dog to bed and i gave her a dog snack- really more of a "cookie" than a biscuit. then i had one myself. truth told, it was delicious. i never realized that those dog cookies in the bins at petco are actually cookies. i swear those were real chocolate chips in there! i am going to now attempt to regain what little dignity i can by saying that i only ate one.... i had a whole bag staring me in the face, and i ate one. after the behemoth cravings i've been having the past 10 days, putting them down was a feat of monumental proportions. i can take pride in that. i will also qualify it by saying that in my life and my travels, i have eaten mice, goat vertebrae, iguana, chicken backs, and oats with more weavils than oats, so dog snacks weren't really a stretch.
neither was the bag of cheese. sigh. yes, i also ate one already-opened-partial-bag of swiss cheese. i will blame my sister for sending it home with me. there you have it. in the last 11 days, i have had only foods available in rural nepal, one dog snack, and one bag of shredded swiss. i am now back on track (the snack and the cheese were on adjacent days) and eating a steamed potato with sauteed onions on it as i write this. i may be down, but i'm not out! 3 days to go!